EMO: What's Up With All These Emotions
Sermon 3: The Loneliest Person in the World
2 Timothy 4
July 29, 2007
Pastor Paul W Newell

Video Clip: Lonely People [From Sermon Spice, America, Dan Peek]

One is the loneliest number...and two can be as bad as one...especially when the two are focusing only on “number one”.  I never really thought that Three Dog Night would end up being so philosophically relevant to the twenty-first century, but there you have it! One is the loneliest number.

It’s become all too common to “look at all the lonely people”.

That mirror in your Discovery Pack this morning...I want you to take it out and look at it...

As I used to say to my kids... ‘see the monkey’? No...

See that person in the mirror...chances are you are looking at someone who either is lonely or has experienced loneliness in their recent past. For some loneliness is a passing EMO, for others – maybe the one you’re looking at right now – loneliness is a constant companion.

"In a society where most people live in impersonal cities or suburbs, where electronic entertainment often replaces one-to-one conversation, where people move from job to job, state to state and marriage to marriage, loneliness has become an epidemic.”

New York Times columnist Henry Fountain wrote this last year:

“...the "lonely crowd" alienation of the 1950's; the grim career-driven angst of the 70's and 80's; the "Bowling Alone" collapse of social connections of the 90's. [Now] There is a new installment in the annals of loneliness. Americans are not only lacking in bowling partners, now they're lacking in people to tell their deepest, darkest secrets. They've hunkered down even more, their inner circle often contracting until it includes only family, only a spouse or, at worst, no one.”   [NYTimes, July 2006, The Lonely American Just Got a Bit Lonelier]

A survey a while back stated that 1 out of 4 Americans will say they are loneliness at any given moment. And of all Americans who ate dinner last night...22% ate alone!

It seems that the more people we have around us the easier it’s getting to be lonely. It’s not only an epidemic, loneliness is a hot topic. I did an itunes search recently to see how many songs I could find that had loneliness as their theme...I stopped at one thousand...there were many more!

It wouldn’t be so bad if loneliness were just an emotion, we could sort of deal with the emotion, but the tragedy is that loneliness:

Loneliness is a killer EMO.

This morning I want to share with you the final words from someone who could have been...probably should have been...the loneliest person in the world.

[Song: The Pretty Things: The Loneliest Person]

The loneliest person that I’m referring to is a man we simply know as Paul the Apostle.

Without going in to lengthy detail about Paul’s life I want us to simply fast forward to the end: Paul the Apostle is in prison and about to be executed; his crime: telling people about Jesus Christ. That’s it. Paul was going to be put to death because He was telling people the Good News. His crime and punishment was pretty ironic when we rewind several decades are find out that the first time Paul is mentioned in the Bible is when he is overseeing the execution of another Christian named Stephen. Stephen was the first Christ Follower to be killed for proclaiming is faith. That was before Paul, himself, became a Christ Follower and saw God change him completely!

But now it’s years later and Paul is imprisoned in Rome waiting to be executed for refusing to back down from his faith and preaching of the Gospel.

Paul is in prison and is writing one final letter to his closest friend to is over eight-hundred miles away across to seas in Ephesus.
Paul closes his letter by sharing some warnings and as we read between the lines we can see how the Apostle deals with loneliness. 

Look at 2 Timothy chapter four with me...

Notice a couple of things in the middle of the passage:

9Timothy, please come as soon as you can. 10Demas has deserted me...11Only Luke is with me...14Alexander the coppersmith did me much harm, ...I was brought before the judge, no one came with me. Everyone abandoned me. ...21Do your best to get here before winter.

Do you see that? “please come...deserted...did me much harm...no one came with me...abandoned...do you best to get here...”
I don’t know about you, but those words sound a lot like loneliness to me! If the Apostle isn’t feeling lonely, I bet he was at least fighting the feelings!

As I read through these final words from the Apostle I see a lot of reasons to be lonely. Now look at the passage from the beginning:

3For a time is coming when people will no longer listen to sound and wholesome teaching...4They will reject the truth and chase after myths. 5But you should keep a clear mind in every situation.

One of the things that can cause us to feel lonely is a sense of regret and failure. When people simply won’t listen to us! They reject what we are trying to say and we feel they are rejecting us as well.

The Apostle Paul was warning Timothy to beware of such feelings.

He goes on to challenge Timothy:

Don’t be afraid of suffering for the Lord.

We can start to feel lonely when we are faced with hard times. I don’t know about you, but when tough times start coming on me one of the first feelings I battle is loneliness. I mean who else really understands. No one knows what I’m going through!

Work at telling others the Good News, and fully carry out the ministry God has given you.

Failing to really connect with others or fulfill my God given purpose can not only make me feel regret, I feel lonely. I feel disconnected from God.

6As for me, my life has already been poured out as an offering to God. The time of my death is near.

Fear of what’s next can bring on feelings of loneliness. I think anyone who knows they are facing death would be dealing with what Paul is talking about here. Even if you’ve turned yourself over to God’s purpose and accepted the facts – it’s hard not to feel lonely.
How about betrayal! Want to feel lonely; just have someone stab you in the back! That’s what Paul faced sitting there in prison.
Sometimes we be overwhelmed with loneliness simply because our closest friends and family are living their own lives.

Crescens has gone to Galatia, and Titus has gone to Dalmatia. 11Only Luke is with me. Bring Mark with you when you come, for he will be helpful to me in my ministry. 12I sent Tychicus to Ephesus.

These guys had been Paul’s compadres, traveling companions and now they were all gone fulfilling their own God given missions.
Attacks from others can make us feel lonely.

14Alexander the coppersmith did me much harm, but the Lord will judge him for what he has done. 15Be careful of him, for he fought against everything we said.

And when others simply abandon us – it’s lonely!

16The first time I was brought before the judge, no one came with me. Everyone abandoned me.  

It doesn’t take too much stretching to see that the Apostle Paul faced loneliness – JUST LIKE THE REST OF US!

So what did he do? How did Paul face his loneliness? Let’s look at the passage from a little different perspective.

First, notice that PAUL CONNECTED WITH OTHERS

The whole letter of Second Timothy is about Paul connecting with his friend, Timothy. He then ends the letter by reaching out and asking Timothy to come see him.

One of the biggest mistakes we make when we feel lonely is to ISOLATE OURSELVES even further.

Loneliness is the feeling of not being connected, isolation is the state of being totally separated.

Often we feel lonely even when there are people around us. We don’t have to be isolated when we feel lonely – we can work and being around others. More about this in a moment.

Second, Paul Appreciated Others

That mirror I asked you to look into a few minutes ago; look into it again. What do you see? That’s right – only yourself. Loneliness is much like that – it causes you only to see yourself; only to focus on yourself.

One way out of loneliness is to start appreciating others. Look at the very beginning of 2 Timothy:

Timothy, I thank God for you, (2 Timothy 1:3)

Paul appreciated Timothy. You can use your feelings of loneliness to focus on yourself, or loneliness can really make you appreciate others and cause you reach out to them.

Which, by the way, brings me to the third way to deal with loneliness:

Third, Paul Put His Focus On Others

The very last words we ever hear from the Apostle are about others:

22May the Lord be with your spirit. And may his grace be with all of you.

Did you catch that? You...your. I know how I get, and I’m pretty sure you are the same. When I get lonely I’m tempted to sit back and wonder why everyone around me isn’t trying to make me un-lonely. Why aren’t they connecting with me? Why aren’t they calling me? Why aren’t they asking me out? What’s with THEM!

There is a HUGE difference between “THEM” and “YOUR”.

Are you starting to see the pattern here?

Often our loneliness is self-made. Most often our loneliness is of our own making!

Will you take out the mirror in your Discovery Pack again? I want you to hold it in front of you one more time. Try to place it so that you can see yourself...got it? I want you to notice something, the only way for you to see your self in that small mirror is to really focus on it; when you do you see nothing else.

Loneliness is just like that mirror; it causes you to have a very limited focus on yourself and deprives you of seeing anything or anyone else in a postive light. It narrows your focus.

Sure there are times when we are lonely and it’s not our fault. We miss family and friends who are far away. For whatever the circumstance – it’s beyond our circumstance – and we begin to feel alone and lonely.

The truth is some “aloneness” is good for us: It’s called SOLITUDE.

Solitude is when we CHOOSE to be alone. It’s good to take time to be alone with God and by ourselves. Times like that allow us to put the focus on ourselves in a healthy, productive way.

Isaiah 30:15 tells us, In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength,

Solitude is looking to God and at ourselves as seeking rest, quietness and strength. Loneliness, if we allow it to run its course, can become self-focused isolation.

Solitude can be good, but much of the time we choose loneliness, not solitude.

At this point you may be asking yourself, how did Paul do it? How did he either keep himself from becoming overwhelmed with loneliness or pull himself out of it?

And this is where the key strategy comes into play.

You see, you really don’t have to face loneliness alone! The Apostle didn’t and you don’t!

Paul was able to overcome loneliness by realizing the most powerful truth in the universe and applying it to his present circumstance. Look at verse sixteen:

Everyone abandoned me. May it not be counted against them. 17But the Lord stood with me and gave me strength so that I might preach the Good News in its entirety for all the Gentiles to hear. And he rescued me from certain death. 18Yes, and the Lord will deliver me from every evil attack and will bring me safely into his heavenly Kingdom. All glory to God forever and ever! Amen.

See that? The Lord stood with me.

That’s God’s promise to every Christ Follower.

Hebrews 13:5, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.”

FOURTH, Paul RECOGNIZED THE LORD’S PRESENCE AND ACCEPTED HIS STRENGTH

Loneliness can cause you to feel like it’s all about you, but it can also drive you to recognize that Jesus Christ is still there with you and offering you His strength and presence.

So you’re saying, OK, Jesus is with me, but you don’t understand; when I’m dealing with overwhelming loneliness I don’t think about that! I just feel lonely!

I sort of have the feeling that Paul might have been where you are as well, because he reached out for a further resource.

Paul didn’t just want his friends around him.

Paul didn’t just want to deal with the causes of loneliness.

Paul didn’t just tell himself that Jesus was there and he could be strong...

Paul needed something more...

13When you come, be sure to bring the coat I left with Carpus at Troas. Also bring my books, and especially the parchments.

Paul needed God’s Word. Those “books and parchments” were copies of God’s Word.

Paul could face his loneliness; he could face solitude because He had God’s Word to remind him of God’s presence and to help keep him focused.

Finally, Paul GOT INTO GOD’S WORD

Prayer:

To download the audio version of this message click here.